5/15/2022
1:53am
Today was a hard day for me.
I’m currently sitting on a bench at a park near my house at this time. I’m typing away at my phone as I sit here in the entirety of my feelings and tears.
This was the last spot my ex and I sat and talked about our most honest and truest feelings before never seeing each other again. It’s hard. I shot a beautiful wedding and a proposal today, and seeing so much pure love and happiness gets you in that mood too (at least for me). However, when you’re going through getting over someone that you loved, it’s so tough. I’m only human you know?
I’m trying hard to get over our break up, but I just have to take it day by day, week by week, month by month. It’s a process, I know. But it hurts so much. And please please don’t title me as the victim. I’ve done my fair share to have made mistakes in our now past relationship of ours. It’s going to take time to heal and move on, but I also want to be true to these feelings of mine at this very moment, so that down the line I can truly reflect and grow.
At around 7:00pm, as I was getting off my train station today, I looked up into the misty drizzle and was put immediately into my feels. I looked back at the precious conversation I had with the groom today. It was only me and him, and he told me he never knew he was able to find the “right one” for him. He never did believe the “when you know, you know” feeling when it came to a significant other. And it wasn’t until he came across his now WIFE (I’m still so happy for them). But it took trials and tribulations. It gives me hope. Although I may not see the light now, I can see a light shimmer in the distance.
And as I walked by this very park I’m sitting in earlier today, I passed by beautiful bushels of newly bloomed flowers - pink and flourishing in the grey misty atmosphere. I realized it was the very same bushel I gifted my ex way back when. So I’m just going to share these photos that I took at the park, cause I found it to be really sentimental to me.
Life isn’t easy, and I’ve never expected it to be. I have faith and confidence in my future though and I won’t give up on love. I’ll continue to be patient and allow all my necessary healing to transpire. Here’s to love. Let’s not give up on it.
